Round Two: The Women.
It’s the race within the race. As the competition heats up on the road, it heats up in the sleeves as well. We have five entries to the Gun Show Women Competition this year. Some by choice and some not knowing what the hell they were getting themselves into. With an independent panel of judges, the girls have been officially scored, and only one will bear the honour of TOP GUN of 2017. They might not win anything but a lot of street cred.
Our panel of judges: Molly Weaver, Loren Rowney and Nathan Haas. All’s fair as the three didn’t see the other’s votes.
And ONTO THE COMPETITORS:
MOLLY: “She’s got the pose, but maybe not the upper body strength. Gnarly scar is providing the tough look though so nobody’s gonna mess with her. 5/10.”
LOREN: “Looks like Alexis could learn a thing or two of how to flex from team Tiff Cromwell…actually surprised Tiff hasn’t been featured. In saying that I will give Alexis a 6/10′”
NATHAN: “There’s always that moment when you look at your ‘swole’ and think, yep, bulk gains this festival season…. She’s in that moment. Big flex, but maybe a bit prouder then the outcome deserves, a 7/10.”
Total Score: 18
MOLLY: “Holy biceps! No wonder she’s looking happy with that flex…those are some ripped guns. Take a bow Katie. 10/10.”
LOREN: “Dayummmm girl! I guess thats why Katie Hall goes up hill so fast? Must be doing a whole lot of out of seat action plus about 1000 push ups a day. 10/10.”
NATHAN: “The queen of lean, more definition than blu-ray, and some serious bubble on that Bicep. Tight game. I’d almost say, compared to the Pro men, this girl has the smile to go with the cracking flex, a scary combo for dark ally run-ins. 9/10.”
Total Score: 29
MOLLY: “Gone for the full body flex there to try and get some extra points. Nailing the body builder pose, but it’s not fooling anyone. Won’t be winning any gun shows with those puny things. 4/10.”
LOREN: “Carlee, this was a bicep flex off…not an abs show. And yes, your abs look good girl! 4/10.”
NATHAN: It’s always been about the strike. you don’t win Mrs. Muscle comps without solid triangles, ab flex and stiff jaw strikes. Missing a bit of bulk, maybe I should say, missing any bulk, but this is one staunch situation that leads you to think, she’s for real done time and knows how to shank you. well played. 8/10.”
Total Score: 16
MOLLY: “Clearly Chloe’s a bit shocked to see some bicep action here. There is some muscle definition, but comparisons with the hulk stop at the green jersey! 6/10.”
LOREN: “Chloe, we know you can do better than that. I’ve seen those guns working out in the gym. I reckon a lot of potential from Chloe, but I’m going to have to give her a 7/10.”
NATHAN: “Here we see a great example of the long bicep. Unlike the bubble, the long bicep can hold you up for a long time. You can see here Chloe is in a deep squat held not by her glutes, but by this long, strong and high quality bicep. 7/10.”
Total Score: 20
MOLLY: “If we hadn’t seen the punch that Katie Hall was packing, these would be looking pretty good. Think she could win a few arm wrestles in the female peloton with those babies. 7.5/10.”
LOREN: “We all know Nettie rates her guns, and honestly, this is not her best flex. If she had put more effort in, she may have been close to Katie Hall, but I’m going to have to say 8/10.”
NATHAN: “It’s hard to get a good reading on this bicep situation when I can only focus on that sea sponge looking growth on her neck? What the hell is that????? I can only pray your bicep flex was enough to bounce that lump well off that cycling specific bod! Still, can’t say that isn’t some part of me asking, do you even lift bro? And the answer clearly is, Ooooo yea. 7.5/10.”
Total Score: 23
And our overall winner is Katie Hall!!!! Smashing the competition by 6 points and even taking out the top scoring dude Jay McCarthy by 3.5 points from our men’s comp.
Katie, you have earned some serious respect from all of us, and yea for real, lets not get in a bar brawl with you. Thanks to all our competitors, that really had no idea what they were getting into.
This concludes our 2017 Gun Shows, but we will for sure be back next season for more.