Agony Auntie & Uncle: Kiel & Jordan

Kiel Reijnen and Jordan Reijnen team up to answer your hardest problems…

Dear Agony Auntie and Uncle: Whats the real secret to “nature calls” whilst cycling, in and out of a race?  Why does no one talk about it?

Jordan: Whenever you see the camera pan to a beautiful shot of the local scenery and the announcers start talking about anything but the bike race, it’s usually a bathroom break for the whole peloton so they can pull over and pee in peace.

Kiel: I have never ever urinated during a race. I’ve been practicing holding it since I was 18.

Dear Agony Auntie and Uncle:  Is there a secret to grocery shopping for my cyclist partner?  I buy so much food and its gone within a day!  Can i lock away rations?  What is the best method?

Jordan: You definitely need to secure a place in your home where he/she won’t go looking for food. This may mean hiding a chocolate bar in same drawer with your lady products. When living with a cyclist nothing is sacred, and all food is up for grabs. Especially after he/she stumbles in completely bonked after a 6 hour ride in the cold. Best to just accept the fact the grocery store clerk may soon become your best friend. 

 Kiel:  We spend more money on groceries than housing, it’s a fact of life for cyclists. Please don’t hide the food, I hunger. 

Words: Kiel Reijnen and Jordan Reijnen

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