Agony Auntie and Uncle: Kiel & Jordan

Kiel Reijnen and Jordan Reijnen team up to answer your hardest problems…

Dear Auntie and Uncle, My husband’s brother is an avid cyclist, and i find i keep lusting after his perfectly toned legs.  I really do love my husband, is this ok?  What should i do? 

Jordan: Perfectly normal. I mean who can resist those gorgeously smooth, chiseled and toned stems? But seeing as it’s your brother in law I would suggest the look but don’t touch approach. Also encouraging your husband to start riding a bike as a way to “bond with his brother” would be a great idea. Shaved legs and all, really encourage him to go big or go home.

Kiel: Rather than ending up in an awkward affair with your brother-in-law you should encourage your husband to take up cycling with his brother. Although once you see the price tags on the bikes his unshaven tube shaped legs might not look so bad.

Dear Auntie and Uncle:  I’m at a week long stage race, and I’m really struggling with my live in teammate/ roommate for a week.   He insists on doing his nightly stretch routine in his leg compression socks and nothing else. How do I stop this?

Kiel: Tell him that compression stockings are low-tech. All the new research shows that full body compression jump suits are the quickest way to a Cat. 1‎ upgrade. If that fails just set the A/C on full blast.

Jordan: I second the A/C idea, also go out into the hall a lot and leave the door open.

Dear Auntie and Uncle:  What is this cycling “etiquette” I keep hearing about?  I imagine this has little to do on the placement of my salad fork, or my posture….

Kiel: No, unfortunately the “etiquette” you keep hearing about in the peloton is even more arbitrary, subjective and out-dated. But the good news is as an armchair critic you can make up your own ideas about what “etiquette” in the peloton should entail, and then shake your fist and post your opinions to twitter for the rest of the world to judge.

Jordan: Down with the good old boys club! Damn the man, save the empire!

Words: Kiel Reijnen and Jordan Reijnen

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